Prospects

R is in Germany this week, and met with friends for supper last night.  One friend is a new mother, and asked what I'm planning to do once we get moved.  He told her that we're going to try to start a family, and I'm going to just do my best to get settled in comfortably.  She was excited by this, because she'll be heading back to work part time pretty soon from maternity leave and is looking for what they call a Day Mother.  It's exactly what it sounds like...someone you take your children to during the day when you're at work.  Like in-home daycare, but without the regulations.  It's usually friends with similarly aged children, with one mother not wanting to return to work.  When R asked why she would choose me, our friend was very excited.  What better situation could she come up with than a friend who can help teach her baby English, and music?  It's one thing to study English in school; it's a whole different matter to hear it almost as much as you hear your country's language from the crib.  She told R that if I went for the idea, I would probably reach the unlicensed daycare max in no time at all.  Most German parents would rather have a Day Mother than a Kindergarten, and with my connection to a number of young professionals all starting their families at the same time, it would be an easy path to follow.

I let myself imagine the possibility on my bike ride this evening, not placing expectations or limitations on it.  I actually like the idea, as long as it's only 1 or 2 extra kids.  Maternity leave in Germany is 1 year, so I wouldn't have to worry about tiny babies.  It would give me the ability to feel better about staying home, since I still have some hangups about being a contributing member of the family.  I don't need to earn a lot of money, but I do want to be able to contribute by doing more than cooking/cleaning/laundry.  We are moving to a more expensive country.  He got a raise to do so, but we are losing my entire full-time income at the same time, so in the end it's a pay cut.  And sometimes I feel like moving to Germany is taking the easy way out for me.  Move to Germany, retire from the workforce at 35.  Being a stay at home mom is a full time job, no doubt about that.  But I won't be one of those for at least a year.  Until then, I'm just at home.  It might be fun to stay home and play with a baby for a few hours a day, get used to it a little.  Then, when we have our own, it'll be even better because it'll be ours.

And the thought of my music background and my English language skills as being advantages rather than clear disadvantages in Germany is very appealing.

Ironically, earlier this week, an American friend and I had talked about her staying home and opening an in-home daycare, because she hates having to work and send her babies to someone else for the day.  I love the idea of giving my friends someplace they actually would want to send their kids, where they will be taken care of more than the would at a larger Kindergarten.  I had told her that, if we were staying, that would be an ideal situation for me as well.  I won't want to be a working mother...I hardly like working as it is.  So now, a few days later, the idea becomes a real possibility on the other side of the world.

This whole move has seemed freakishly easy.  He got the job he was hoping for, before he even knew it existed.  We have a beautiful apartment, he's going to buy a car while he's there this week (and it's even his dream car), we get married in exactly a month from tomorrow, and we move in just over 2 1/2 months.  I almost typed that it feels surreal, but that's not true.  It doesn't feel surreal at all, in fact it feels pretty normal.  We've been planning it all for so long, it just feels good that the action is finally almost here.