It has become evident over the course of the last few weeks that the German people as a whole value pudding more highly than the average American does.
I foresee favorable conditions for me to thrive.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Prospects
R is in Germany this week, and met with friends for supper last night. One friend is a new mother, and asked what I'm planning to do once we get moved. He told her that we're going to try to start a family, and I'm going to just do my best to get settled in comfortably. She was excited by this, because she'll be heading back to work part time pretty soon from maternity leave and is looking for what they call a Day Mother. It's exactly what it sounds like...someone you take your children to during the day when you're at work. Like in-home daycare, but without the regulations. It's usually friends with similarly aged children, with one mother not wanting to return to work. When R asked why she would choose me, our friend was very excited. What better situation could she come up with than a friend who can help teach her baby English, and music? It's one thing to study English in school; it's a whole different matter to hear it almost as much as you hear your country's language from the crib. She told R that if I went for the idea, I would probably reach the unlicensed daycare max in no time at all. Most German parents would rather have a Day Mother than a Kindergarten, and with my connection to a number of young professionals all starting their families at the same time, it would be an easy path to follow.
I let myself imagine the possibility on my bike ride this evening, not placing expectations or limitations on it. I actually like the idea, as long as it's only 1 or 2 extra kids. Maternity leave in Germany is 1 year, so I wouldn't have to worry about tiny babies. It would give me the ability to feel better about staying home, since I still have some hangups about being a contributing member of the family. I don't need to earn a lot of money, but I do want to be able to contribute by doing more than cooking/cleaning/laundry. We are moving to a more expensive country. He got a raise to do so, but we are losing my entire full-time income at the same time, so in the end it's a pay cut. And sometimes I feel like moving to Germany is taking the easy way out for me. Move to Germany, retire from the workforce at 35. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job, no doubt about that. But I won't be one of those for at least a year. Until then, I'm just at home. It might be fun to stay home and play with a baby for a few hours a day, get used to it a little. Then, when we have our own, it'll be even better because it'll be ours.
And the thought of my music background and my English language skills as being advantages rather than clear disadvantages in Germany is very appealing.
Ironically, earlier this week, an American friend and I had talked about her staying home and opening an in-home daycare, because she hates having to work and send her babies to someone else for the day. I love the idea of giving my friends someplace they actually would want to send their kids, where they will be taken care of more than the would at a larger Kindergarten. I had told her that, if we were staying, that would be an ideal situation for me as well. I won't want to be a working mother...I hardly like working as it is. So now, a few days later, the idea becomes a real possibility on the other side of the world.
This whole move has seemed freakishly easy. He got the job he was hoping for, before he even knew it existed. We have a beautiful apartment, he's going to buy a car while he's there this week (and it's even his dream car), we get married in exactly a month from tomorrow, and we move in just over 2 1/2 months. I almost typed that it feels surreal, but that's not true. It doesn't feel surreal at all, in fact it feels pretty normal. We've been planning it all for so long, it just feels good that the action is finally almost here.
I let myself imagine the possibility on my bike ride this evening, not placing expectations or limitations on it. I actually like the idea, as long as it's only 1 or 2 extra kids. Maternity leave in Germany is 1 year, so I wouldn't have to worry about tiny babies. It would give me the ability to feel better about staying home, since I still have some hangups about being a contributing member of the family. I don't need to earn a lot of money, but I do want to be able to contribute by doing more than cooking/cleaning/laundry. We are moving to a more expensive country. He got a raise to do so, but we are losing my entire full-time income at the same time, so in the end it's a pay cut. And sometimes I feel like moving to Germany is taking the easy way out for me. Move to Germany, retire from the workforce at 35. Being a stay at home mom is a full time job, no doubt about that. But I won't be one of those for at least a year. Until then, I'm just at home. It might be fun to stay home and play with a baby for a few hours a day, get used to it a little. Then, when we have our own, it'll be even better because it'll be ours.
And the thought of my music background and my English language skills as being advantages rather than clear disadvantages in Germany is very appealing.
Ironically, earlier this week, an American friend and I had talked about her staying home and opening an in-home daycare, because she hates having to work and send her babies to someone else for the day. I love the idea of giving my friends someplace they actually would want to send their kids, where they will be taken care of more than the would at a larger Kindergarten. I had told her that, if we were staying, that would be an ideal situation for me as well. I won't want to be a working mother...I hardly like working as it is. So now, a few days later, the idea becomes a real possibility on the other side of the world.
This whole move has seemed freakishly easy. He got the job he was hoping for, before he even knew it existed. We have a beautiful apartment, he's going to buy a car while he's there this week (and it's even his dream car), we get married in exactly a month from tomorrow, and we move in just over 2 1/2 months. I almost typed that it feels surreal, but that's not true. It doesn't feel surreal at all, in fact it feels pretty normal. We've been planning it all for so long, it just feels good that the action is finally almost here.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Someplace to Call Home
The previously mentioned Germany Apartment didn't work out. We weren't chosen by the landlord. As it turns out, in Germany as in America, it is unusual to rent an apartment to someone you have never met. In a traditional society like Germany, a face-to-face meeting is far more important than a collection of emails. There was too much interest surrounding that apartment than our many emails could overcome.
Luckily, our persistence did attract some attention, and a phone interview was held with the landlord for our 2nd choice apartment. Well, if we're honest, my 1st choice and his 2nd, merely because there is a washer/dryer hookup in this one. (This is more of an issue than I realized until we started apartment hunting. I only remember one or two other apartments on our extensive list of possibilities had in-unit hookups.)
The landlord was reassured by the phone call, and we were chosen for the 2nd apartment. We call it the Dark Floors apartment, because it has dark floors. We're creative like that.
We do have to start paying rent early on this one as well, which is frustrating. I really hope this is our most expensive year ever. The next big purchase will be a house, and the down payment won't be equal to what it's costing us to get married AND relocate.
Reinhold has started researching honeymoon possibilities for the first week of July, when all our worldly possessions are making their way across the ocean. We're not sure how much we'll have for that, because this apartment comes without a kitchen installed (as most apartments in Germany do, except the apartment we didn't get. Kitchens are usually considered property of the renter, much like the furniture in any other room). A basic kitchen is a few thousand dollars, so there goes the last remnants of our savings (also known as our honeymoon fund).
All things considered, both of us are handling the whole thing pretty well. It's just exciting enough to overcome any anxiety we might have about being destitute by August. We keep looking for places to trim a little fat, and the only place would be the wedding. Whenever that comes up, we look at each other and agree that it's worth it. For us, having the best adventure we can at our wedding, with our family and friends, is what it's about. And, interestingly, we are spending less than we would on the same size affair in America. Some things are more expensive, but after talking to some work friends about their receptions, we are doing really well. We're far under what we budgeted for the wedding initially, but over when it comes to a down payment on a car, realtor fees for the apartment, kitchen purchasing, apartment deposit, 3 months rent when we don't even live there, etc.
In non-monetary topics, the wedding is a mere 61 days away. My dress is sized and ready to go. I have my shoes, my hair appointment for the test run and the day of, and I'm narrowing down my choice of nail polish colors. R is going to meet with our event planner when he's in the area next month, to coordinate with the priest and discuss the final particulars. I plan to be available at that time for any questions. And by available, I mean actively Skype-ing with them the whole time whether they "need" me or not. It'll be better for everyone that way.
As far as work, I'd like to be done. It's hard to know my end date, but still be there for another few months. I'm not a patient person, and I'm excited about something else now. Work holds little appeal. Less than it ever has before, even. But it keeps me entertained, most of the time, and paid. Considering the previous paragraphs, paid is a good thing.
Luckily, our persistence did attract some attention, and a phone interview was held with the landlord for our 2nd choice apartment. Well, if we're honest, my 1st choice and his 2nd, merely because there is a washer/dryer hookup in this one. (This is more of an issue than I realized until we started apartment hunting. I only remember one or two other apartments on our extensive list of possibilities had in-unit hookups.)
The landlord was reassured by the phone call, and we were chosen for the 2nd apartment. We call it the Dark Floors apartment, because it has dark floors. We're creative like that.
We do have to start paying rent early on this one as well, which is frustrating. I really hope this is our most expensive year ever. The next big purchase will be a house, and the down payment won't be equal to what it's costing us to get married AND relocate.
Reinhold has started researching honeymoon possibilities for the first week of July, when all our worldly possessions are making their way across the ocean. We're not sure how much we'll have for that, because this apartment comes without a kitchen installed (as most apartments in Germany do, except the apartment we didn't get. Kitchens are usually considered property of the renter, much like the furniture in any other room). A basic kitchen is a few thousand dollars, so there goes the last remnants of our savings (also known as our honeymoon fund).
All things considered, both of us are handling the whole thing pretty well. It's just exciting enough to overcome any anxiety we might have about being destitute by August. We keep looking for places to trim a little fat, and the only place would be the wedding. Whenever that comes up, we look at each other and agree that it's worth it. For us, having the best adventure we can at our wedding, with our family and friends, is what it's about. And, interestingly, we are spending less than we would on the same size affair in America. Some things are more expensive, but after talking to some work friends about their receptions, we are doing really well. We're far under what we budgeted for the wedding initially, but over when it comes to a down payment on a car, realtor fees for the apartment, kitchen purchasing, apartment deposit, 3 months rent when we don't even live there, etc.
In non-monetary topics, the wedding is a mere 61 days away. My dress is sized and ready to go. I have my shoes, my hair appointment for the test run and the day of, and I'm narrowing down my choice of nail polish colors. R is going to meet with our event planner when he's in the area next month, to coordinate with the priest and discuss the final particulars. I plan to be available at that time for any questions. And by available, I mean actively Skype-ing with them the whole time whether they "need" me or not. It'll be better for everyone that way.
As far as work, I'd like to be done. It's hard to know my end date, but still be there for another few months. I'm not a patient person, and I'm excited about something else now. Work holds little appeal. Less than it ever has before, even. But it keeps me entertained, most of the time, and paid. Considering the previous paragraphs, paid is a good thing.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Rough Waters
We had a little upset in the plan this weekend. We re-ran some numbers, and things were not as we were hoping.
The wedding that started out moderately expensive has become more expensive, thanks to the shuttle service, cost of photographer (insane over there compared to over here), English speaking DJ vs just German, etc.
We found an apartment we love, but to get it we have to start paying rent a few months early. We were expecting that, but were hoping for reduced rent/no utilities. The landlord came back today saying it's all or nothing.
It's just as expensive as we assumed, but were hoping for a break somewhere. So far, it hasn't happened yet.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Stagnant
I'm pretty sure time moves differently for me than others. It's either that, or I'm half as patient as everyone else. Whatever, not important.
We are waiting to hear back on whether or not we got the apartment we want in Germany. A part of me really hopes we do, but a part of me also wants to keep looking. There are some really amazing places in our Target Area, and it's hard to decide on one. Especially because we kept looking after we put in our application... That's a recipe for regret.
Yesterday, R told me that if I have any reservations about moving to Germany, it's not too late. He has a job, we have a bank account; those are the 2 main things you need to facilitate the rest of life. And it's that rest of life he wants to make sure are the best for both of us they can be. And it's because he's so careful to make sure I'm an equal partner in this decision, that he's not dragging me off to his country in pursuit of only his dreams, that I can be as committed as he is to this move. I feel like I'm getting at least as much out of it as he, long term. Short term will be difficult as I struggle to adapt, but I'm hoping the long term benefits won't take too long to kick in.
We are waiting to hear back on whether or not we got the apartment we want in Germany. A part of me really hopes we do, but a part of me also wants to keep looking. There are some really amazing places in our Target Area, and it's hard to decide on one. Especially because we kept looking after we put in our application... That's a recipe for regret.
Yesterday, R told me that if I have any reservations about moving to Germany, it's not too late. He has a job, we have a bank account; those are the 2 main things you need to facilitate the rest of life. And it's that rest of life he wants to make sure are the best for both of us they can be. And it's because he's so careful to make sure I'm an equal partner in this decision, that he's not dragging me off to his country in pursuit of only his dreams, that I can be as committed as he is to this move. I feel like I'm getting at least as much out of it as he, long term. Short term will be difficult as I struggle to adapt, but I'm hoping the long term benefits won't take too long to kick in.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Home, Sweet Home
We are in the process of finding somewhere to live on the Other Side. We've been looking at apartments online for months, narrowing down which city we want to live in. We started wanting Warendorf, a suburb-like town slightly west of where we assumed R would work. As usual, life took a different turn that what looked like the obvious course for the last 4 years. Rather than working directly for the Mothership, he took a position on one of the Supply Ships. As a result, we got to start a new apartment search, and were pleasantly surprised by what we found. We submitted an application for an apartment last week, and should hear back on it early this week.
We had planned to spend the first week of May apartment hunting, never dreaming it could be this easy. So now we don't know what to do for that week in May, maybe shop for furniture? Get to know our new town? Drink a lot of lattes? Take naps? Get pregnant?
It is getting harder and harder to keep taking that silly little pill every day, but I know if I stop before the wedding it'll pretty much guarantee a bright and shining moment of fertility that will make everything more complicated than it needs to be. I'm already anxious about everything falling into place (as it seems to be doing), no sense adding a bunch of hormones into the mix, right? Right?
We had planned to spend the first week of May apartment hunting, never dreaming it could be this easy. So now we don't know what to do for that week in May, maybe shop for furniture? Get to know our new town? Drink a lot of lattes? Take naps? Get pregnant?
It is getting harder and harder to keep taking that silly little pill every day, but I know if I stop before the wedding it'll pretty much guarantee a bright and shining moment of fertility that will make everything more complicated than it needs to be. I'm already anxious about everything falling into place (as it seems to be doing), no sense adding a bunch of hormones into the mix, right? Right?
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Amy nach Deutschland : Amy to Germany
I have decided to chronicle my move to Germany, both physical and mental. I proposed the idea of this blog to my fiancé (henceforth known as R), and asked for suggestions for what to call it. His first suggestion was, "Gone, baby, gone."
Um, no.
I have spent the first 34 years of my life living in the American Midwest. I grew up in Missouri, thanking my lucky stars I didn't live in Kansas. Then I moved to Kansas. I realized Kansas isn't all that different than Missouri, and after all, it wasn't Iowa, right? Of course my next move was to teach at a small university in southern Iowa. I really should have learned from previous experience, but I didn't. I really, truly thought to myself, "Well, all these moves to someplace I thought was the worst, at least I'll never wind up in Nebraska." So mere months after moving to Iowa, I met a guy living in Omaha, where we now live. R works in the agricultural industry, and refers to my moves as a Tour of Corn Belt. Sigh.
In a few short months, I'll be moving to Westfalia, located in the upper-left-ish part of Germany. (In case you're curious, they also grow corn there, though a little differently.) R is originally from there, and soon we will both call it home. Weather-wise, it's a lot more like Seattle than Kansas City. It's often rainy, and lacks the extreme temperatures one never really gets used to. R jokes that you can tell when summer arrives because the rain turns warm. At least I think he's joking...
Moving on. After a few not-so-good name ideas, we settled on "Amy nach Deutschland," meaning Amy to Germany. It's simple, which is not representative of this transition at all.
Oh, and just to add to the fun, we're getting married in Germany 2 months before we move. So in May we head over, tie the knot, fly home for the month of June, and then fly back in July for good.
It's a good thing I didn't resolve to have a stress-free 2015.
Um, no.
I have spent the first 34 years of my life living in the American Midwest. I grew up in Missouri, thanking my lucky stars I didn't live in Kansas. Then I moved to Kansas. I realized Kansas isn't all that different than Missouri, and after all, it wasn't Iowa, right? Of course my next move was to teach at a small university in southern Iowa. I really should have learned from previous experience, but I didn't. I really, truly thought to myself, "Well, all these moves to someplace I thought was the worst, at least I'll never wind up in Nebraska." So mere months after moving to Iowa, I met a guy living in Omaha, where we now live. R works in the agricultural industry, and refers to my moves as a Tour of Corn Belt. Sigh.
In a few short months, I'll be moving to Westfalia, located in the upper-left-ish part of Germany. (In case you're curious, they also grow corn there, though a little differently.) R is originally from there, and soon we will both call it home. Weather-wise, it's a lot more like Seattle than Kansas City. It's often rainy, and lacks the extreme temperatures one never really gets used to. R jokes that you can tell when summer arrives because the rain turns warm. At least I think he's joking...
Moving on. After a few not-so-good name ideas, we settled on "Amy nach Deutschland," meaning Amy to Germany. It's simple, which is not representative of this transition at all.
Oh, and just to add to the fun, we're getting married in Germany 2 months before we move. So in May we head over, tie the knot, fly home for the month of June, and then fly back in July for good.
It's a good thing I didn't resolve to have a stress-free 2015.
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